once i was babysitting my neighbor’s 6 year old and she asked me why i was so ugly and without thinking i said “i’m you from the future” and she cried for like 30 minutes
"is there an international men’s day?" yes actually! it’s tomorrow! and the next day! and the day after! and every other day of every year
A puppy’s three great loves: tennis balls, the swiffer, and cheese.
As a college student you’re either struggling academically, financially, or spiritually. Or all 3
HE RESPONDS TO THE PART ABOUT HIS HAIR NOT HIS BUTT
I love Lupita Nyongo’s Brother
because he literally did
exactly what we would do
if we went to the Oscars
except he did it 220022932 times better.